Posted by: Briar Rose | January 15, 2007

Make-ups Gone Wrong!

 Zulu Warriors

Elaine came in an hour late this morning. I was talking in my sweet natural way, explaining some procedures to my assistant. Eventually, I managed to catch a sight of Elaine and had the shock of my entire life! Elaine had transformed into bloodthirsty African on the warpath. GEEZ.

Elaine? Where’s that girl? This isn’t Elaine! This is the Chief of Wa-wa-wawa, Pride of the Zulus and terror of the Veld!” I said to my self and I screamed for Marj.

Oh, God,” Marj said. “Give me your face,” and she rubbed the stuff off Elaine’s face with hand felt like an electric floor waxer.

This in itself was kind of traumatic for her—Elaine who’d been looking cute as a kitten suddenly looked like an angry cannibal in the flesh. But I understand, some girls like Elaine have never seen anything like a make-up cosmetic before. True. She must have used her foundation cream twenty times as much as she should.

Honey, you don’t have to use a pound of that stuff,” I said. “Oh, God, give me your face again.

Elaine was practically in tears this time. What an amazing experience. She must have felt like a Zulu warrior for the first time. I brushed a powder on her, fiddled an eyebrow pencil, and lined her eyes, put on mascara on her and did her lips. Elaine sat studying herself in the mirror for a long time. She’d stopped looking like a Zulu warrior. Instead she looked as if she’d stepped out of a Shanghai whorehouse. BWAHAHA It was a change, anyway.

As a result of what happend this morning, I am going to make my ten cents’ worth make-up tips for asian girls.


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